1 year old!!!!

Oh man where to even begin!!! Our little Angel squishy is offically a year old !!! I cannot believe it! so much has happened in this last year but somehow it also just seems like yesterday... It definitley brought back some sad memories as we started coming across things we had done last year, and to remember back to what a horrible place we were at last year. I think the hardest part looking back was remembering my kids... how hard this was on them also. Having to come to the hospital once every couple days to see their mom and new brother we had been so excited to have. Having to come to the hospital to decorate easter eggs and spend easter morning not at home... Its hard to look back because i wasnt really able to be there for them like I wanted to  because both me and mike were both trying so very hard to keep it together. It was a very very trying time for all of us.. But what a great thing to be able to make the most of this year and get to have aiden there and celebrating with us!! Man he loved that easter basket and tried a taste of his first peep ;p it was great ;p

So of course a lot has happened since the last time i updated, we are in full birthday mode, i just got Aidens and Sophies invitations printed and ready to roll out. Im nervous and sad my babies are 1 and going to be 5 years old!!! But were are gonna celebrate redneck style lol with john deere and some time at the local park ;p

So with Aiden turning 1 there have been tons of appointments... we had another neuro development appointment and of course the report that follows that appointment that always just hits right to the heart when it is filled with nothing but neggatives about what Aidens not doing and how much he hasnt made any improvements since the last time they saw him... blahhhh We also had today his follow up Neurologist appointment ... im still processing that... I know they have to be pro active and not give false hope blah blah blah but it gets hard to constantly hear bad news and how things will get worse ect... I choose to live in my little special world where my sweet aiden can do what he wants when he wants as long as he keeps giving mom those smiles and showing his sweet sweet personality;p

They also mentioned in the future having to possible look at doing the keto diet, which will require a g tube to be used due to his aspiration... and then also they brought up a venus nerve stimulater... its a pace maker that would be surgically implanted and attatched to his venus nerve, it would then transfer electrical impulsed to Aidens brain and somehow this has been used to stop seizures... again still processing all the information and not quite sure how i feel about all of it yet... agian i choose to live in my special world where his one med we have him down to will continue to work great and he will have complete seizure control.

So much just going through my head tonight... Im trying like crazy to keep possitive and look forward to my squishys first bday party!!